I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
