I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
