How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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