she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
