Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
