she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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