I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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