Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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