I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
