It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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