drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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