All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
