I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
