brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize