I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
