i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
