Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Boobs speak an international language.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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