Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
