There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
