I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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