I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
