i was born a porn star she said
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize