It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
