Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
