He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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