wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
