I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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