Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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