Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have so many feelings about this burrito
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
