I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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