we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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