we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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