So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
