Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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