I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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