Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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