I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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