i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My cat gives me a boner
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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