Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
