i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
