There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
