what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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