You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
