he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
