who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
