i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Still dying that you shit outside
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
