who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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