My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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