I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
