So drunk, too bad you don't want this
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just googled if crying burns calories
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize