You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's the barista slut.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
