i think i have two assholes
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
