My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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