I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
