so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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