I want to stick my p in your. b.
another moral hangover. fuck.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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