I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When did angry sex become our thing?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
