Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize