What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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