Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
