Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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