We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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