You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
