Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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